How to Engage with Technology Without Losing Yourself

It’s easy to forget what really matters with a myriad of distractions and dopamine hits on demand. Modern technology has negatively impacted our mental health and well-being; satisfaction, loneliness and connection are moving in the wrong direction. In an age of mass distraction, we need to be more intentional about bringing agency to our interactions with tech.

Soren Gordhamer is the Co-Founder and General Partner of Wisdom Ventures, along with Jack Kornfield and Yung Pueblo, which invests in companies creating a more just and compassionate world. In his 2025 book “The Essential: Discovering What Really Matters in an Age of Distraction”, Gordhamer shares a set of practices designed to help us renew our relationships with technology in ways that are healthier, more sustainable and reduce the harm that modern technology can lead to.

Be aware of the game.

Social media doesn’t serve us. It serves other entities.

Until there is a different model for social media companies that doesn’t rely on ad revenue, the algorithmic desires and motivations built into social platforms are working agains our well-being

Practice:

Become hyper aware of the moment that using social media goes from being useful and fun to bing addictive.

Create barriers for your day.

Being intentional about the first, and last hour of your day has the potential to improve your quality of life.

Aspire to make the beginning and the end of your day supportive, healthy or regenerative.

Do something that isn’t about consuming; something that is about connecting.

Practice:

Create a ritual to start and finish each day that allows you to connect with yourself and your environment.

Practice breaking up with your phone.

When you step into a line there’s a moment where you are going to feel boredom. Challenge yourself to sit with this feeling.

When we have nothing to consume, we tend to reach for our phone.

Practice:

When you notice yourself reaching for your phone, pause and ask yourself: “what do I actually want right now”?

These practices are borrowed from the 2025 book “The Essential: Discovering What Really Matters in an Age of Distraction”, by Soren Gordhamer.